What we say can either make or break a relationship. This means that a little mistake could bring all your efforts to nothing. Before you say anything, mull it in your mind first. Remember, you can’t take it back once it’s said.
Here are some of the statements and questions which men should avoid uttering when dating a quality woman. Remember that your words have the power to do a lot of things for your relationship.
“How many men have you been with?”
Her past relationships are likely none of your business yet. In fact, knowing the number has nothing to do with accepting her. What it will change in the course of your dating is your perception towards her. If she’s been with a lot of men, you’ll think that she easily gives it up and if she’s been with a few, you’ll wonder if there’s something wrong with her. The question “How many men have you been with” is pretentious. It sends women the signal that you want to pry on their sexual history.
If you really have to pop a similar question, you can ask her this: “How many long-term relationships have you been in?” This way, your question is focused on the relationship.
“Do you want to come to my place?”
This question is not just assuming but it also gives women the feeling that you could pressure them into having sex, which might result to you being rejected. Instead, rephrase the question this way: “I just don’t feel like the night should end here.”
It does not pose a question so it doesn’t feel like you’re compelling her to answer. It also gives her the chance to give suggestions; she may even suggest you come to her place.
“You should meet my family.”
This is a serious question that can make or break a relationship. In fact, women consider it as a huge step in a relationship when it involves meeting with the family. Most men do not understand it, though, because men usually bring almost every woman he hooks up with so his family members can stop asking questions about his love life. Men should also consider that meeting with the family requires the woman to be ready.
The question should be asked this way: “Would you like to meet my family?” This question means that you are ready to bring her to your family and gives her the option to refuse, depending on how she’s feeling.
“Was that good for you?”
Some men are just insensitive pigs right after sex. Asking a woman “was that good for you?” just tells women one thing: “you’re insecure in bed and you want an assurance from her”. The question may urge her to lie just to save your feelings.
Instead of asking, you can tell her that “it was amazing.” It will give her the chance to express her thoughts about what just happened without the necessity to lie.
“You look awful in that outfit”
Most women love dressing up and looking good. And while most of them do it just because it makes them feel good and not because they want to impress anybody, you, as the man she is dating, should be more appreciative.
For these reasons, it is absolutely a big no to express your dislike in a way which may hurt her emotions. Express your displeasure by saying “I just don’t like that outfit.” Make sure that your statement is expressing your dislike towards the outfit and not to the person wearing it. You can also critic the outfit while saying: “it doesn’t show your natural beauty” or any complimentary statement about her.
“Are you putting on weight?”
If she’s gaining weight, she’s probably the first to notice that because she’s the one who sees her body first in the mirror. Do not make weight-gain an issue.
A better way of acknowledging it is to tell her: “let’s do something active today. I’m feeling out of shape.” This will divert the focus of the issue from her weight to becoming active together. You’re sort of hitting two birds with one stone, too because you’re finally doing something about your beer belly.
“I don’t like your friends”
She doesn’t like your friends either. But the fact remains that both of you have been with your respective set of friends before you met. Unless the women she’s friends with are putting her in trouble or are doing things that may jeopardize your relationship, there is nothing you can do but to accept her circle of friends.
If you really feel bad about her company, it’s better to say “we should meet some new people.” This is not a statement of disagreement to her friends. You are just suggesting that you need people or other couples, who can relate to your relationship.
“My ex-girlfriend used to do this. Can you do it?”
Asking this question just tells women one thing: You’re still hung up on your ex and you’re comparing her to your previous girlfriend/s. Never ever compare her to your exes or to any other woman, for that matter.
If you really liked whatever your ex did, say “maybe we could try this” and never mention you got the idea from your ex.