Iskra Lawrence is probably one of the most sought-after women in the fashion industry today. She’s not only beautiful and smart, she is also an advocate of body positivity in a cut-throat industry that values looks more than anything and an activist of sorts.
Speaking with GQ, Iskra Lawrence gives men a few tips on how to compliment their partners better.
1. Focus On Qualities, Not Just Looks
It’s nice for women to hear compliments, but sometimes it wears thin when you’re saying the same things over and over.
According to Iskra, “I guess it’s just being affectionate which is quite important for someone like me, knowing that they want to be around you, they want to touch you they want to be affectionate, it makes me feel loved and valued.”
She added, “There’s a million and one ways to tell your partner that they are special and different from anyone else in this world and you know that, you’re around them all the time.
“If you love the way that they laugh, tell them that. Give the person the opportunity to dress-up and go out and celebrate your relationship; not just on Valentine’s dayor not just on those days when it feels compulsory. Do something spontaneous, think outside the box a little bit.”
2. Take The Pressure Away
The model said that men and women both have body image issues. However, it’s different for women because they’re constantly being criticized.
“When I have articles written about me, they will still mention my thighs and my body – they would never do that about a man. It’s just so deeply ingrained in our society,” she said. “Even if a guy brings a new girlfriend home or tells his family he’s got a new girlfriend, they’re going to ask what she looks like, but a girl can have a new boyfriend and they’ll say, “oh what does he do?”.
Recently a store associate told me a familiar story of how young girls would come into the store to try on a bikini asking for a small, it not fitting and needing a larger size then breaking down and feeling insecure. She asked me what to do to comfort and help (because this happens all the time as many of us think our beauty and worth is based off our size) So I told her always remember and share the following – and please everyone reading this repeat this to yourself, your loved ones even your damn dog! Lol I AM NOT DEFINED BY SIZE I AM NOT DEFINED BY MY WEIGHT I AM NOT DEFINED BY A LABEL I AM BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE I AM ME I AM GOOD ENOUGH I AM WORTHY And as you all know #everybodyisabikinibody 🙌🙌🙌 S/o to all the #aeriereal store associate and everyone who wants to help others feel good about themselves – you are making a difference😘 #sizelargeneverfeltsogood
Lawrence said that it’s important for women to take the pressure of looking perfect away from their partners’ shoulders.
“So the whole ingrain in our society and unfortunately, it’s hindered so many females because when we have insecurities, it holds us back. It holds us back from trying new things, from going out and experiencing the world. Even in relationships that will hold you back from making decisions. So I definitely think the more we can talk about that and support each other and take the pressure away from just how we look, it will benefit everybody.”
3. Be Vulnerable
Thanks to toxic masculinity ingrained in men since childhood, it’s often hard to express feelings.
According to Lawrence, women love it when men are sensitive to their partners’ feelings. So the best way to compliment them? Think about them and let them know that you are!
“It can just be something simple like, ‘you’re awesome’ or ‘you made me smile today’ and they can pop-up on your phone. Imagine if your partner’s struggling at work and you know they didn’t get the promotion, you can put a little note in their phone and say, ‘I’m thinking of you, don’t forget how brilliant you are.’ Or it could be a post-it note… Think about the special little things because they mean more than anything.”
Good morning from Mexico my loves… About to do today’s @everyBODYwithiskra boxing workout with @heathertheheat on the beach… whose with me? So excited by how much you’re loving the program and app. (Link to try it out is in my bio)👆 Been creating the content for so long and so happy you’re loving the workouts that you can do anywhere and without an equipment, the mediations, yoga, sleep visualisations, positivity podcasts, self care videos and tips and the yummy recipe ideas 🤗🤗🤗 #everyBODYwithiskra Pic by @alimitton wearing all @aerie #aeriereal #noretouching
She added, “Just check-in with how that person’s feeling. We often say, ‘hey have a good day’ but no one ever really asks how you’re feeling. I know that’s much harder for men to do but try and encourage each other to be there and talk about those things and really open out because vulnerability is strength.”